It seems i did so many things for it.

And now that it comes oh so easy, of course, it doesnt matter.

I stomped on it, thrashed it then trashed it to just wash it and prettend its there, intact behind cracks and wrinkles. The Love.

It makes me laugh, cynical me, to know i was right. It used to hurt to be right and to be again and again tortured to say i was wrong by one after another…

Sometimes, albeit all the times, i hoped. Of course , in vain. And he knew it, he knew he had that power on me. Well , after all i gave him that power, to have me, to get inside my mind. But he chose to only ask, once in a while or to stupidly joke of course just once in a … while.

When „i grew up” or out of it more precisely, i ended being emmotionally blank.insensitive and more sarcastic. And it doesnt even feel rewarding to validate the fact that , yes, (im repeating myself) i was right and yes now he is in pain. Bingo, right? Wrong…

Its a waste of time and of feelings that were so out of sync. But yeah we felt for each other. In different dimenssions, and totally unconnected…

On another note i love when men just go behind stupid reasons. The sweet ones are the best. They make for good comedies if it would not be a drama showing its sharp claws behind the smiles(words).

Under the humid sun, far far away, i was told that i have a mans brain in a womans body. It was supposed to be a compliment. Too bad that i dont have a mans heart in my own body. The brain is the least important asset for a woman that wants to be happy in a relationship. Unless she fantasizes to be in a relationship with herself, lol….

And then i was asked , after so long, if i want to have kids. i said yes. He said i am too late in his life. I said congratulations and I left. Sometimes i dont want to say or to do anything.

The things we do for love….the things we do…

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